Dear Cherise,
Now this took some research! Apparently back in 17th Century Greece, there was a famous baker called Leopopolous Bobopolous who specialized in the best pound cake on the market. The ruling monarch at that time, King Quippo Quinto, was one of his best customers because his daughter, Princess Pinto Quinto, loved pound cake more than any other dessert. Intending to impress Princess Pinto on her 20th birthday, Leopopolous made a giant pound cake, unaware that he made it a little heavy on the non-skim goat milk and, alas, after consuming the entire pound cake (which in reality weighed over 11 pounds) poor Princess Pinto Quinto got weighed down and drowned while swimming in the Royal Moat without her Royal Inner Tube. King Quinto, grief-stricken and enraged, had the unfortunate Leopopolous executed by having the Royal Executioner get out the Royal Mallet, pounding him to death. For years thereafter, anyone munching pound cake was reminded of the terrible tragedy and Leopopolous' initials soon became associated with pound, thus the abbreviation of "Ib." If you believe this, I've still got some Brooklyn Bridge stock available. Next Question!
Signed, Miss Information

Dear Miss Information, 
Why is it that so many merchants who have double-doors to their establishments always keep one side locked?
Signed, Bruised Nose in Boise

Dear Bruised,
There is no simple answer to this question. It has eluded logic and common sense for so long that only theories exist: 

1. Fighting Back. Many merchants have a long-suppressed hatred of the popular "customer is always right" ethic, and the only way to accomplish covert retaliation is by keeping one door locked. They must receive some satisfaction by watching customers smash into these locked doors.
2. Economy. This practice has a constructive affect on heating bills when patrons, after bouncing off plate glass, are so mad that their resultant cries of pain, outrage and colorful curses expel a massive amount of hot air, significantly reducing utility costs.
3. Cheap. Some merchants may not be able to afford, or willing to afford, those irritating bells tied to doors that tinkle when a customer enters. It is both louder and more noticeable to the merchants when the crash of human flesh against plate glass lets them know of a new patron entering.
4. Frustrated Heroes. Many merchants do not have the opportunity to rescue orphans from burning buildings, skaters breaking through ice, accident victims from exploding cars, or even a stray kitty from a high tree branch. But with only one open door, they have many chances daily to rush to the rescue of those patrons who have collided with the locked door and are sprawled stunned and nearly unconscious on the sidewalk. Beware of merchants who have a large first aid kit nearby or those who are unusually well-versed in the care of traumatic nosebleeds.

Signed, Miss Information

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